All for you
by Fallenangel2904
Summary: When Cristian's actions take an unexpected turn, who will be caught in the cross fire? Chapter 8 added!
1. Chapter 1

Hey all, I decided to start this story since the show hasn't been that great for John and Nat lately. This idea came to me so I decide to write. This is my first One Life To Live fic. Feedback is appreciated so tell me if I should continue. This story picks up pretty much where the show is now. The last thing to happen was Natalie and Cristian's fight over her reading his notebook. That's all, now that I've written you all a novel. LOL okay here is the story.

Cristian stood in the living room at Llanfair recalling what Natalie's mother had said to him earlier. She had told him that she knew what it was like to have demons, and he had to fight them. What he was going through was different, he thought. He never wanted to hurt anyone he loved, especially Natalie, but he had no control over it.

He suddenly grabbed his head in pain and began to lean forward. All he could hear was the voice inside his head.

"_You must complete your mission in Llanview. You must kill; someone who is hated and, someone who is loved. You must let nothing get in your way, nothing."_

Cristian pulled his head up and began to regain his composure. He couldn't let this happen. He couldn't take the risk of hurting Natalie. He grabbed his coat and headed out the front door. He needed to think.

Natalie stood in Angle Square looking up at the statue. The statue always made her think of Cristian. He designed it; he put his passion into it like he did with all of his art. That was the Cristian that she knew, the one she loved. She wanted to help him through what he was going through now matter what it was, why couldn't he see that? She thought to herself.

It was cold outside, and the blowing wind was an indication of the dropping temperature as day turned to night. Natalie crossed her arms across her chest to try to keep her body heat in. She had gone to the Angel square hotel hoping to talk to Roxanne, but she wasn't there. She needed to talk to someone, anyone besides her mom and Jess. She had unloaded her problems on them too much in the past few weeks, besides Jessica had her own problems right now; she didn't need her to add to them. Natalie sighed in exasperation. She was so confused by everything. She just wanted to be there for Cristian, for him to open up to her; instead he was pushing her away. She never felt this distant from him. She had never seen the side of him that she saw tonight. He was angry like never before. She saw so much anger in his eyes. She needed to eventually go back to Llanfair and face Cris. She turned to walk away and as she did so she heard a familiar voice call her name. She turned to see John staring her way.

"What do you want?" She snapped staring right back at him.

"To see how you're doing, Is that a problem?"

"No, but you accusing my husband of terrible things, things I know he would never do, that is a problem. So why don't you just go back to Evangeline and leave me and my husband alone." She started to turn to walk away but turned back at his response.

"I'm sorry Natalie, but you know as well as I do, that I can't do that.

"And why not?" She asked looking straight into his eyes. "Tell me something John, is this really about the fact that you think Cristian is dangerous, or is it about something else?

Cristian came through Angel Square. As he was about to cross through the square he saw Natalie standing in front of the statue. Apparently she didn't see him. She looked angry and seemed to be arguing with someone. Cristian stepped closer, but still remained unseen. He then caught sight of who she was arguing with; John McBain. He was about to breakup the argument but stopped as he heard John proceed to speak.

"I think you could be in danger, and I'm telling you this as a friend, someone who's concerned about you. What else do you think it would be about?"

Natalie glared at him. "Well maybe you just can't deal with the fact that my husband is back. Maybe it bothers you to see me happy with him."

John let out a small sarcastic laugh "You…you think I'm jealous?"

"Are you?"

"What…what would make you even ask that?"

"I don't know John, every time I turn around you're trying to turn me against my own husband. You're trying to get me to believe that he's this terrible person who could hurt me when I know that he never would. It sounds to me like you want my marriage to fail. Now why would a concerned friend want that unless there was jealously involved?"

"Natalie that's the furthest thing from the truth and you know it. I want you to be happy…with Cris. And as far as the jealousy thing goes maybe you're projecting your feelings on to me, maybe you're the one who's jealous."

"I am not jealous. What would I possibly be jealous of, you and Evangeline? Don't flatter yourself John. I have my husband, a husband who loves me more then anything else in the world, and I love him. So jealousy is the furthest thing in my mind." She said turning away, clearly upset by what he had said.

John sighed. "Hey look, I'm…I'm sorry for saying that. It was out of line."

She turned back around to face him. "I'm not jealous John." She repeated looking up into his eyes. "It's just…everything we've been through, I just, I don't want you to think that there's still…that I still." She trailed off not knowing how to finish what she had started to say. She sighed.

"Look I know you love Cris, and whatever happened between us, it was in the past I know that. That's why I'm sorry for saying what I did. I shouldn't have… considering what happened between us." He shifted uncomfortably and brushed his hair back with his hand.

She looked up at him. "John nothing ever really happened between us. All that ever really happened were a few shared kisses and some unrequited feeling on my part, and none of that matters any more because were both in different places now. My husband is back, and you're with Evangeline. It doesn't matter now, it was in the past."

She looked away uncomfortably "I…I should go. Cristian is waiting for me." Although the words came out of her mouth she didn't move.

Meanwhile, a now enraged Cristian looked on at the scene which had just unfolded in front of him. He wanted to kill McBain, rip him limb from limb. The thought of him kissing his wife infuriated him. And what did Natalie mean by 'unrequited feelings on her part'? He didn't care; all he cared about was getting her the hell away from him.

Natalie began to walk away and as she did so she saw Cristian coming towards her. She smiled at him even though her mind was still on the conversation she had just had with John. "Cris, what are you doing out here?" She asked.

Cristian tried to conceal his anger. "I needed to get some fresh air." He tried to remain calm. "Natalie, I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier, I want to open up to you. You mean everything to me."

"I'm sorry too Cristian. I couldn't possibly imagine what you went through on that ship; I'll try to be more patient with you."

"Thank you... for understanding. Let's go home." He began to walk away and she stood behind for a brief minute.

"You alright?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She lied. "Let's go home." She said as she began to walk with him.

So what do you all think? Should I continue? Let me know.

Robin


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2; enjoy, and thanks everyone for the great reviews :)

Natalie awoke to find that Cristian was no where in sight. She sighed as she got up out of bed and put her bath robe on. As she did so she glanced at the clock; it was 3:13 am. Where could Cristian be? He was acting strange when they had gotten back to Llanfair. He seemed like his mind was somewhere else, although she had to admit she wasn't exactly all there herself. The conversation she had had with John earlier was still fresh in her mind, and she couldn't let what he said go. Was she jealous? She had her husband back, and although he was going through a rough time right now she loved him and wanted to help him through it. But maybe she did still feel something for John. Natalie pushed it out of her mind for now and proceeded out of the room to find Cristian.

Cristian sat in the living room of Llanfair thinking to himself. He couldn't get it out of his mind, the thought of John McBain, his worst enemy kissing Natalie, his Natalie.

"Pull it together." He whispered to himself in and assertive tone.

He realized something had happened between Natalie and McBain in the time he had been gone, well not exactly _him_, Cristian, but he was Cristian now and that's all that mattered. He couldn't loose Natalie, not to McBain, not to anyone. He may not be the same man she fell in love with, but he could sure as hell try to be. He could get her to love him; who he was now, as much as he loved her. He wouldn't loose her, and McBain sure as hell wasn't going to get in his way.

He was pulled out of his train of thought when the living room door opened. He looked up to see Natalie standing there.

"Natalie what are you doing here?" He asked standing up.

"I could ask you the same thing. Where were you? I woke up and you weren't in bed."

"I just needed to think, I'm fine now. Let's go back to bed." He said as he put his arm around her waist leading her back up the stairs of Llanfair.

John turned over on his back and faced the ceiling. He looked over to his side and saw Evangeline was fast asleep. They had come back to his place, and made love, and even though he tried to keep his concentration on her it was to no avail. His mind kept wondering back to the conversation he had had earlier, more importantly the conversation with Natalie. He couldn't get her out of his mind. Not just the fact that she accused him of being jealous, although that was definitely one of the things that were bothering him, but more importantly the fact that he still was afraid she was in danger. He knew that there was more to what was going on with Cris then meets the eye, and he wasn't sure what he could be capable of. He was pulled out of his intense thoughts by the stirring next to him. He looked over to see Evangeline had awoken. She smiled up at him as she turned over on her side.

"You okay?" She asked as she lightly ran her finger down his muscular chest.

"Yeah, I'm just… thinking." He said trying not to sound too deep in thought.

"Anything important?"

"It's…it's nothing." He turned over to face her. "Come here." He said pulling her closer to him. He was about to kiss her when she pulled away.

"It's Natalie isn't it?" She asked growing upset.

"What makes you think its Natalie? I have a lot of cases, Natalie isn't my only priority."

"No but she's your number one." She sat up pulling the sheet around her body as she did so. "I know that look in your eyes all too well. She's got you tied around her finger and she doesn't even know it." She got up out of the bed and searched the floor for her scattered clothes. John followed her doing the same.

"Look I think she could be in danger, you even said there's something off about Cris."

She looked up at him still buttoning her blouse. "Maybe so, but it isn't just about Cris, and until you can admit that then we have nothing to talk about." She finished buttoning her blouse and reached for her coat, and proceeded to walk to the door.

"Look I don't know what you want me to do or say to convince you that I don't have feeling for Natalie."

She turned back around to face him. "That's my point John, there is nothing you can do or say that could convince me otherwise, because you do have feeling for Natalie, you're the one who needs to realize that." Without another word she turned around and walked out of the hotel room closing the door behind her.

Chapter 2; let me know what you all think 

Robin


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3; I'm glad you all liked the last two chapters so much Thanks for the great feed back. I'm hoping to have Chapter 4 up tomorrow; I just need to figure out exactly what direction I want to go with this story. Okay, enjoy!

The morning sun glared through the kitchen of Llanfair. Natalie sat at the kitchen table now fully dressed, drinking her coffee. She hadn't seen Cristian all morning. He had woken up before her and told her to sleep in. He said he was going to take a shower, but when Natalie woke up a little while later he wasn't in the shower. She looked up from her coffee to see Jessica enter the room.

"Morning." She said as she reached for the coffee pot and began to refill her now depleted cup.

"You're up early." She said as she poured herself a cup as well, and took a seat across from Natalie. "Where's Cris?"

"I wish I knew. He got up earlier to take a shower and I haven't seen him since." Natalie sighed and she took another sip from of her coffee.

"Maybe he's with Antonio." She took a sip from her mug and continued. "He wasn't in his room this morning. He knows we're supposed to go over the article I'm writing in The Sun."

Natalie looked up at her. "About that Jess, are you sure that's a good idea? I mean I know you want to lure your stalker out in the open and everything, but are you sure it's not too dangerous?"

"Natalie don't worry; Antonio is doing this with me, I'm not alone. He even thought it was a good idea." Jessica checked her watch.

"Shouldn't he have been here by now Jess?"

"He's probably with Cris, they probably lost track of time."

As if clock work Antonio came through the back door, clearly out of breath. He looked at the two women, and then directly at Jessica.

"Sorry I'm late Jess, I wanted to go for a run before we started." He began to catch his breath.

"Where's Cris?" Natalie asked with a hint of panic in her voice.

"He wasn't with me, why?"

"No reason." Natalie said as she got up out of the chair and reached for her coat.

"Listen I'll see you guys later." She began to rush for the door. Natalie was already half way out when she was stopped.

"Natalie wait." Exclaimed Jessica as she caught up to her sister. Natalie turned around to face her.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I'm gonna check the diner, maybe Cris went to see Carlotta."

"Okay, if he comes back here I'll tell him you were looking for him."

"Thanks." She turned to walk away, but was stopped once more by Jessica.

"Natalie, look I know you've been struggling with something's lately, and I want you to know that you're not alone, I'm always here if you need to talk."

"Thanks." She smiled at her twin.

"Look I have some things to go over with Antonio, and after that I'm going to got down to TheBanner and finish my article, but I was thinking, if maybe you wanted to meet me afterwards at the diner say around 6. We could just talk, like sisters."

Natalie smiled "Jess you have no idea how good that sounds."

"So then you'll meet me?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world. I'll see you tonight." Natalie turned once more and this time she wasn't interrupted. She was glad that her and Jessica would have some sisterly time to talk, but right now her first priority was finding Cris.

Jessica closed the door behind Natalie and looked back at Antonio. She had a some what unsettled look on her face. She looked away from Antonio clearly in thought.

"You okay Jess?" he asked concerned.

"I'm fine." She said looking up to face him once more. "It's Natalie I'm worried about."

She sighed and continued. "I never see my sister happy anymore, and I'm really scared for her Antonio. I'm afraid that there's something more going on here, something that she can't control on her own, and to be perfectly honest I think it all goes back to Cristian."

Cristian silently crept in Llanfair being sure to make as little noise as possible. He closed the front door behind him and looked around the foyer. Realizing he was alone he made his way up the stairs holding close a small black bag to his side. He wouldn't loose Natalie, he just wouldn't. She could never know about this, never he thought to himself as he opened the door to Natalie and his bedroom.

Chapter 3; hope it was worth waiting for.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4; enjoy!

Cristian came down the stairs of Llanfair clearly in a rush. As he got to the bottom he saw Jessica approaching the foyer. She looked in his direction clearly agitated.

"Hey Jess." He said sounding nonchalant

"Where have you been all morning?" She asked tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "Natalie was really worried about you, why didn't you tell her where you were going?" She asked with annoyance in her voice.

"I…I hade some things to take care of. Is Natalie still here?"

"No. She went to look for you." Jessica turned to walk away, but suddenly turned back around. "Cristian what's going on with you lately?"

"What…what do you mean?"

"What do I mean?" She mimicked in a harsh tone. "You never used to be like this. You used to open up to Natalie, to talk to her, but now you just push her away. Your becoming less and less like the man my sister fell in love with and more and more like a stranger to her."

"Just stop it damn it!" Cristian shouted angrily. "You know nothing about who I am; nothing! Just stay the hell out of my business!"

"I can't do that when you're married to my sister. I'm sorry Cristian, but I can't let this go"

Antonio had walked into the foyer and felt the tension between the two.

"Is everything okay here?" He asked looking back and forth between Jessica and Cristian.

"Fine." Replied Jessica; still looking at Cris. Finally she directed her gaze towards Antonio. "We should really get going down to the Banner. I still have to finish my article so I can put it in print for tomorrows edition." With that she grabbed her coat and headed to the front door, Antonio following close behind her.

"See ya Cris." He said as Jessica and him walked out the front door closing it behind them.

"Yeah see ya 'Tonio he said to himself as he walked into the living room.

Natalie walked into the Angel Square Hotel closing the door behind her. She had gone to the diner to find Cris, but to her dismay he hadn't been by to see Carlotta all day. As a last resort Natalie decided to check with Roxanne. Maybe she had seen him around. As she approached the check in desk, she saw Roxanne sitting there reading this months issue of Craze. She lowered the magazine and finally caught sight of Natalie.

"Hey Natty." She said putting the magazine on the counter and standing to greet her. "What brings you here? You and my favorite back from the dead son in law finally getting out of Vick's mansion? 'Cause you know I can give ya a real break on a room."

"Although the offer is tempting, I'm still not here for a room. Actually I was wondering if you've seen Cristian today."

Roxy thought for a moment and then spoke. "No, I haven't seen Cris since the other day. What's going on with you two?

"Nothing, it's just…were having some problems right now, it I'll be okay."

"You sure? Cuz you know I was reading an article in here that could help ya out." Roxy picked up the magazine and handed it to Natalie open to the page she was referring to. Natalie read the head line of the article.

"How to keep your man happy where it matters" She gave Roxy a stare. "No thanks Roxy I'm pretty sure that's not the type of problems me and Cris are having." She said handing the magazine back to Roxy.

"Okay, but I'll tell ya what; I'll put the magazine on the side for ya."

"You do that." She said with a smirk. I'm uh…I'm gonna go. Maybe Cristian went back to Llanfair. I'll see you around Roxy." She said as she moved towards the exit.

"See ya Natty. Have fun with your hot rod hubby."

John sat behind his desk trying to keep himself occupied. He was having a slow day, and it was killing him. He needed to keep himself busy, anything to not thing about his own life. He looked over his files; he had gone over each of them at least twice. He sat back and began to think of what had happened the night before with Evangeline. Her walking out on him because of how he felt for Natalie. How did he feel for Natalie? He wasn't even sure. He knew he cared about her, he knew he wanted to protect her now, just like he did before with Haver. That was easy by comparison though. John knew how to deal with that situation, he was a cop, at the time he was FBI. He knew just what he was dealing with, but now he had no clue. Cris was Natalie's husband, and unlike Haver, Natalie couldn't nor did she want to stay away from Cris. How could he protect her if she was in danger every second of the day by living with the guy?

John sighed and ran his hand through his hair. All he knew was Natalie was his concern right now. Evangeline had been right when she said she was his number one concern. He needed to protect her. He knew she was strong and more then capable of protecting herself, but he felt the need to do so as well. That confused him. He would swear up and down that he had no romantic feelings for the woman, but yet he felt this overwhelming urge to go above and beyond to protect her. Why was that? Why was it she had this hold over him. He had never let anyone get to him like she did. He never let anyone in, not since…He sighed out loud once more 'Not since Caitlyn." He said aloud. Natalie was the first person he let in since Caitlyn. She was able to break that wall down and get to him. She was tough, that was one of the things he loved about her. Loved? "What the hell is wrong with you McBain?" He asked himself out loud sitting up. "Letting yourself think is always a dangerous idea…and now I'm talking to myself, even better." He said almost laughing at his behavior. He tried to get back to the papers in front of him but it was useless. His thoughts went straight back to a certain red head who had over took his thoughts for the better part of the afternoon. He was still worried, but knew she was tough. There was a sudden knock at his door, and Bo entered the room.

"Hey John, you busy?" He asked opening a file he held.

John snapped out of his daze and looked up to meet Bo's eyes. "No not at all, what's on your mind?" He asked as he was forced to put the thoughts of Natalie in the back of his mind…for now at least.

Chapter 4; hope it was enjoyable. I know it has been quite a while since I added a chapter, but I wasn't sure how to lead into where I wanted to go. Tell me what you think.

Robin


	5. Chapter 5

A/N I know it's been ages since I updated this story. I've had back chapters on my computer for some time and figured everyone probably lost interest in this story, but if anyone still wants to read it I'll post what i have already written. I have 2 more chapters all ready done after this one so if you all want me to I'll post those too. Then if anyone still wants to read more I'll think about adding more to this story and continuing it. Let me know. Okay here is a long over due Chapter 5.

Natalie walked through the door of Llanfair sighing as she put her bag down, and took off her coat. She had spent the entire day looking for her husband who seemed to be no where to be found. She sighed in exasperation. She was tired and frustrated. She walked into the living room and saw her mother looking over some papers. She quickly looked up from them as she realized her daughter had entered the room. She right away sensed Natalie's unhappy mood.

"Are you alright sweet heart?"

"I'm…I'm fine; Just tired." She took a seat next to Viki on the couch. "Have you seen Cristian today?"

"No, the last time I saw him was yesterday afternoon." She saw a far away look in Natalie's eyes "Do you want to talk about what ever it is that's bothering you?"

"It's nothing really, it's just… I spent the entire day looking for him. He left early this morning and I haven't seen him since."

"Do you think something may be wrong?" She asked concern in her voice.

"I… I don't know what to think anymore. It's not just this, not just today. Ever since he came back he's been…" Natalie sighed not knowing how to continue. "He's just-"

"Different?" Viki asked finishing Natalie's sentence.

"Yeah. And it's not really a bad thing. After what he went through I would expect some kind of a change, I mean a trauma like what Cris went through is going to change a person to some level, but I just…I don't know what to do mom." She looked at Viki and tears began to well up in her eyes. It wasn't long before they were spilling over the rims of her eyes and flowing down her cheeks.

"Come here baby." She said as she took her daughter in her arms. "You know honey it's okay to not always have all the answers. If you did, I wouldn't be too sure you were human. Life is a learning experience, and the best way to learn is to sometimes admit that you don't know."

Natalie pulled away and looked at her mother.

"Natalie I know you feel like you need to do something about what is going on in your life; some how take control of it, but sweetheart every now and then we need to sit back and let life work itself out. You don't always need to solve your problems; some times things have a way of working themselves out. Only time will tell."

"Thank you." She smiled wiping the last tear from her eye.

"You know you never have to thank me. I'm always here for you sweet heart." She smiled lovingly, and then abruptly stood gathering her papers. "Now I hate to run like this, but I need to get these papers down to LU."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to keep you."

"You most certainly were not keeping me; besides this was much more important."

After Viki left Natalie decided to head upstairs. She had to meet Jessica in less then an hour. She figured she would try to get in a little nap before that since she was now exhausted from the days endeavor. As she opened her bed room door, she was surprised to see Cristian sitting on their bed. He obviously didn't notice her. He had a far away look in his eyes and was staring into space.

"Cristian?" She called timidly not wanting to disturb him. There was no response. Natalie walked up to him and gently placed her hand on his shoulder. Crisitan sprang up from the bed, clearly startled, but relaxed when he realized it was Natalie.

"Natalie, I didn't hear you come in."

"I called your name, you didn't hear me?" She had concern in her voice.

"I was just thinking, I'm sorry if I scared you."

"It's…its okay." She turned around for a second and then sprang back to face him. "Actually you know what? It's not okay. Where were you today? You just left this morning without even bothering to tell me where you were going. Not even a note, nothing." The anger was building up in her voice.

"I'm sorry. I just…I needed to think."

"Think? Think about what?"

"It's nothing. It's not important now, all that matters is my love for you." He stepped closer and tried to take her in his arms but she abruptly pulled away.

"No, that's not all that matters. Cris if there is something going on, something that's bothering you I need to know. Don't you trust me enough to tell me?"

He looked at her for a second not knowing how to respond "Of coarse I trust you." He replied honestly "It's just…I don't want to worry you. I'm fine, really. I didn't mean to worry you I just needed some time to myself."

Natalie stared at him deeply for a minute and then her expression softened. "It's okay, just…promise me that you won't do that again. Or if you need to, just tell me first."

"That I can to." He said with a smile. He reached for her once more but this time she didn't pull away. He pulled her into his arms with one hand, while brushing back the strands of hair that had fallen into her face with the other. He pulled her face to his and deeply kissed her. That kiss turned into several and Natalie pulled back a little while later.

"As tempting as this is, I need to meet Jessica at six."

Cristian looked over at the clock that sat on their bed side table. He looked back at Natalie with a grin. "I think we still have a little time." He said as he kissed her passionately once more.

The day had gone by slow for John, but he was finally out of work. There wasn't much going on down at the station and that was torture.

"What can I get ya?" The waitress at the diner asked as John approached the counter.

"I called in an order, names McBain."

The waitess looked over the orders that had been called in. "Yeah gotcha' right here. It's almost ready; any thing else with that?"

"Just a coffee to go; black, two sugars."

"Coming right up."

John turned to take a seat and found Evangeline standing in front of him. She was walking in the direction of the door, and apparently hadn't noticed him until their eyes met.

"Hey." He said unsure of what to say.

"Hey."

The awkwardness was evident "Hey look about last night, I-"

"John before you say anything, I want to apologies."

"It's…its okay, what you said was-"

"John just so you know, I'm not apologizing for what I said, more for the way it came out. As you know I'm not one to be subtle about what's on my mind, but I probably shouldn't have just came right out with it the way I did."

"So you still think I-"

"Have feelings for Natalie?" She asked finishing his sentence. "Yes."

"Look I know you think I do, but…I don't."

She looked down letting out a small sarcastic laugh.

"This is funny to you?"

"No, what if funny is you actually have yourself believing that. You've been telling it to everyone for so long that you believe it yourself."

"Evangeline I don't know what you think you know, or what you think, but-"

"Stop, please." She sighed deeply. "John you're the only one who doesn't see it. Natalie has a hold over you, it's not your fault it's not hers, it's just…the way it is. I walked away because I saw that, and because I didn't want to be the one you settled for. I didn't want to be sleeping next to you while in you're mind you were sleeping next to her, or kissing you while in your heart you were kissing her, even if you didn't realize it."

"Evangeline-" He saw the hurt in her eyes and wanted to make it go away, wanted to deny what she was saying, but wasn't sure he could do that.

"Don't." She said holding up her hand as if to say she wasn't done. "For once I'm doing what needs to be done; I'm walking away when I need to. I'm taking my pride, and my dignity and doing what I have to for myself." She looked at him one last time. "Good bye John." She said as she turned to walk away. In the middle of her stride she turned back towards him. "Think about what I said." And with that she was gone leaving John standing there staring after her.

Chapter 5; tell me what you all think


	6. Chapter 6

Here's chapter 6. This was probably the most difficult chapter to write because I had the middle and the ending, but I needed the beginning to flow right. Oh well you all will see what I'm talking about. Enjoy! Note this chapter was prewritten, I have 1 more chapter on my computer already finished and I'll most likely post that tomorrow. I'm going to start on chapter 8 in a bit. Here is Chapter 6…

Natalie checked her watch; it was just before six, as Crisitan and she crossed through Angel Square. He had wanted to walk her to the diner and she didn't protest. The last hour or so had been filled with good emotions and she didn't want to ruin that. Things were finally felling right again. They continued their onward stride, and Natalie halted at the sound of her cell phone ringing. She pulled it from her purse and recognized her sister's cell phone number.

"Hey Jess." She said answering. "I'm almost at the diner; I should be there any minute."

"That makes one of us." She said as she sat behind a desk at the Banner, going through papers that were sprawled out in front of her.

"What do you mean?"

"Natalie I'm sorry, I'm running late over here. It's just I'm trying so hard to finish this article for the deadline tonight so it can be printed in tomorrows edition. I'm sorry." She pushed a stray strand of hair out of her face with her free hand.

"It's…its okay. Do you want to cancel; because we can do this another time?"

"No! I want to come. I may be a little late, but…I'll be there."

"Okay; if you say so."

"I do. I'll see you in a little while."

"See you then." She said as she hung up and slipped the phone back into her purse.

"What was that about?" Cris asked staring at her intently.

"It was Jess; she's running a little late at the Banner; just wanted to let me know."

"You mean we didn't have to rush after all?" He asked giving her a knowing look.

She let out a small laugh "Looks that way." He leaned in to kiss her and suddenly pulled back with a look of distress on his face. There it was again, the voice that would not go away. He held his temples with his hands in an effort to try and make it stop, but it was useless.

"_You must complete your mission in Llanview. You must kill; someone who is hated and, someone who is loved. You must let nothing get in your way, nothing."_

"Cristian…are you okay…" He wasn't answering, just holding his head in pain. It was evident he couldn't hear her. She was growing increasingly worried. "Cris?" She reached out and touched his shoulder lightly not sure what else to do.

He pulled away from her grasp sharply, causing her to take an involuntary step back from him. He retreated within himself for a short while, and then was brought back to the here and now abruptly. Realizing what had just happened Cristian looked up to meet her gaze with his own. Her crystal blue eyes were clouded over with fear from his actions.

"Are…are you alright?" She asked not sure of how she should react to the scene which had just unfolded in front of her.

He looked down for a second and then back up at her. "I'm…I'm fine. It's been a long day. I just have a really bad head ache." He lied

Natalie relaxed feeling a little bit better about the situation. Her first instinct was telling her to run; that this man could possibly hurt her, but she quickly pushed that notion out of her head remembering that this was Cristian she was talking about, her husband. There was no way he would ever hurt her even if he tried to.

"Why don't you go back to Llanfair and get some rest. The diner is just down there." She pointed behind her. "I think I can manage." She said with a reassuring smile.

"Are you sure? I don't want to leave you like this."

"You're not feeling well, the best think you can do is just go back home and rest. The diner is a few feet away, I'll be fine."

Cristian reluctantly agreed to her request. "Okay. I just don't want to leave you again like I did this morn-"

She gently raised a finger to his lips to silence him. "That was different; we're past that now. I'm telling you that I want you to go home, there's a difference."

He gently pulled her finger from his lips and brought the top of her hand back up to his face placing a soft kiss on it. He pulled it away but still kept her hand in his. "I just love you so much."

"I love you too." She smiled gently at him. "But you need to be home."

"You're right." He pulled away from her. "I'll see you back at Llanfair." He turned to walk away and Natalie watched him fade into the background.

Cristian stood off on the side lines for a moment to recollect himself. It had happened again, the voice had over taken his thoughts once more, but this time it was stronger. It was getting stronger and stronger each time, and harder and harder to fight what it was telling him to do.

Natalie stood there for a slight moment to collect her thoughts, and then turned in the direction on the diner. As she did so she ran smack into the last person she needed to see.

"Hey." He smiled at her, giving her the same lopsided grin he always seemed to give.

"Hey John." There was an underlying hint of annoyance in her voice.

"How you' doing?"

"I'm fine." She answered the question a little too quickly and she realized it. When he said nothing she softly spoke. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to snap like that, it's just…it's been a long day."

He looked down at her and saw in her eyes there was something else, but he didn't want to pry. The last thing he wanted was to get into a confrontation about Cris right now and have her bite his head off. No he would keep the conversation at a comfortable level to be safe. "You don't have to apologies; I should probably be the one doing that. The other night I was out of line with my accusations and-"

"It's okay." She interjected. "We already apologized for that, lets just leave it there."

"Fine by me." The air grew silent for a second "Where were you headed?" he wanted to keep the conversation going."

"To the diner; I'm meeting Jess there."

"I don't want to keep you then."

"Your not; she said she was running a little late, so I should have a few minutes."

She sat on the bench next to them putting her purse down next to her. He stood there for a second and looked out onto the sky.

"It's a nice night." He said softly not really knowing what else to say, and also wanting to end the silence that was plaguing the moment.

"Yeah." She replied even softer then he had. "Are things that bad off between us that were reduced to…this?" She asked abruptly.

He looked at her not knowing what she had meant. "This?" He asked a bit puzzled.

"Small talk was never out thing." She let out a sarcastic laugh. "I'm just wondering how things got this bad." She looked down and brushed the stray hair from her face.

"What…what do you want from me Natalie?" He grew agitated. "You confuse the hell out of me, do you know that?" He sighed running his hand though his hair, something he always did when he was aggravated. "You tell me that things can't be like they were before when we were friends, because of Cris coming back. You practically told me to ignore you, act like we never knew each other, and I go out of my way to do that and now you come out with this." He looked into her eyes and saw she was just as frustrated with this as he was. "What do you want Natalie? You just want things to go back to the way they were between us?"

She wasn't sure how to answer that. She stood from the bench and faced him

"It used to be different between us John and you know it." She was almost shouting. "We didn't have to play these games, we could actually talk to each other, have a conversation and it would be real, one hundred percent real. Not like this, I don't even recognize this." She exhaled sharply and continued, in a much different tone then she had started out in. "I know things can't go back to the way that they were before, I know that, but I just…I don't want it to be…" She couldn't find the right words "Like this." Was all she could manage to say at a loss for something better to fill in the blank.

He stared at her intently for a minute, "It's my fault it's like this."

"How do you figure?"

"I've been pushing about Cris, it wouldn't be this bad if I would stay out of it.

She looked away for a minute and then back at John. "Look I know I've said this a million times, and I must sound like a broken record by now to you, but here I go one more time. I know my husband, and I know he would never hurt me. I mean yeah he's changed, but he's still my husband, still the man I fell in love with."

John looked down and ran his hand through his hair again. He didn't want to hear this again. She said this every time, and every time he felt worse and worse about it. He realized she must hate him by now, because of his constant pushing when it came to Cris. He looked back up at her and her expression changed.

"That being said, I want to thank you."

He stared at her for a second trying to make sure he had heard her right "Thank me?" He asked surprised

"Yeah…I know what you say, it's your way of trying to protect me and underneath it all, what ever has happened between us, it shows me that you care about what happens to me."

"Natalie, I-"

"John." She cut him off. "By doing what you do, and saying what you say, I can see that our friendship is still important to you, and it means a lot to me, more then you'll ever know."

He looked into her deep blue orbs, and felt a feeling in the pit of himself that he often felt when he was around her. It was more intense now then it ever had been before.

"You…you know I care about you, and I care about what happens to you." He was barley able to stammer out the words. "You have to know that by now. Everything I've done-"

"John" She held her hand up stopping him. "Let's just leave it at that okay?" She didn't want him to continue knowing that the conversation could very well take a wrong turn and end up in forbidden territory. Then again a part of her did want him to go on. She wanted to hear why he did what he did to help her, why he cared so much, but her sensible part won the argument. "I'm not upset now, even though maybe a part of me should be, but I'm not, I'm touched that you care. So let's just leave it at this."

"Okay." He replied simply never breaking the intense stare between the two. He finally lightened the moment by giving her one of his very one of a kind smiles.

"Thank you…For caring."

She closed the gap between the two quickly and leaned up and lightly kissed him on the check. As she did so he could feel her warm breath on her check as her lips lingered there for a second longer then they needed to. As she pulled away, he had to resist every urge he had to pull her to him and claim her mouth onto his. He some how managed to do so, and met the gaze she gave him with one of his own. He looked down at her and saw the beauty in her eyes. The woman standing in front of him was breath taking. She looked up at him and her big blue orbs danced in the moon light. He reached out and lightly brushed a stay strand of hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. His thumb lingered on her delicate ivory check and slowly wandered to her lips tracing the outline of the bottom one slowly.

Natalie tilted her head back slightly, as her eyes began to close. Her senses were tingling, telling her to give into whatever was happening, but her rational side was fighting back. When his thumb reached her top lip all logic slipped away as her reflexes sent shivers of pleasure up her spine. She began to loose herself in the moment and let the feeling overtake her. She redirected her gaze back on John and saw something she had never seen in his eyes. The moment was deep; his thumb still resting on her lip.

"John…" Was all she could manage to say in an almost undetectable whisper. She had meant it to come out as a final plea of rational thought, meaning to break the moment, but it only strengthened what was happening, sounding more like a lovers cry for more.

He removed his thumb from her lips and returned it to her cheek. Looking into her eyes one last time he leaned into her gently.

His lips were mere inches from hers, and she could feel his warm breath reaching out to her. And finally it happened. His lips gently grazed over hers, sending a shock of electricity into her body. He was slow and gentle about it as he let his lips linger on hers without any movement for a brief moment. He began to kiss her once more, and to her surprise Natalie found herself kissing him back.

She felt so good pressed against him, so right like she was made for him. Her kiss tasted so sweet. Was he dreaming? She was kissing him back; he had to be in a dream state. As she parted her lips to allow his tongue to enter her mouth, he quickly realized that no dream could fell this good, this was all real. Their tongues danced for what seemed like an eternity, but in all reality it couldn't have been any more then a minute. Then it hit him, the reality of the situation came crashing on him like a ton of brick, she was a married woman, and while this felt so right to him at the moment, she would without a doubt regret this at a later time. He pulled away from their embrace abruptly, breaking the moment, and the connection between the two.

She looked up at him startled by his actions at first, but then she realized what had happened. Her sensibility washed over her like a rush of cold water, and she realized her fatal error in judgment.

"Natalie…I…" He trailed off. His voice was low and raspy

"I…I need to go." She had no idea what to say, but figured her best option was to leave the situation where it was. She couldn't deal with this, not now. "Jess is probably there by now." She turned and walked towards the diner, not turning back once to see his reaction. A part of her wanted him to stop her, but he did no such thing.

He stood there motionless staring after her, and watched her walk away from him. Right now he had so many emotions running through his mind, but regret was not among them.

He was pulled out of his gaze by the ringing of his own phone. He snapped out of it and quickly answered it.

"McBain."

Cristian looked on at the Lieutenant curling his fists into tight balls. This was the final straw. If he had doubts before he had none now. He would put an end to this once and for all.

Chapter 6; this one was pretty long, I think. So let me know what you all think; more to come soon.

Robin


	7. Chapter 7

Here's Chapter 7. This one took a little while to post, sorry about that. I still need to start on chapter 8… so I'll do that later on today. I start class next Thursday so I might no have much free time. I'll try to get some chapters written this weekend for this story since gas prices are so high I have a feeling we'll be staying home…oh and BTW how great has OLTL been lately? I am in love with the show right now. Okay here Is chapter 7…I've babbled enough…this chapter has a big surprise…enjoy 

Disclaimer: I still don't own them…

Cristian's rage began to grow as the scene that had took place minutes earlier with his wife and the good Lieutenant played over again in his mind. There was no turning back now, McBain had to be taught a lesson, and he was going to be the one to teach it to him.

He moved himself up, standing a good twenty feet from John. He was careful to be close enough but still remain unseen by him. He watched him intently for a moment, rage and hate radiating from his eyes. He waited until he saw him hang up his phone and place it in his coat pocket. Cristian then reached inside his own coat pocket, and without hesitation produced a small 35mm hand gun. He pointed it at John; and making sure he was in perfect range and alignment he undid the safety.

Natalie approached the diner and stopped just before the entrance. Her head was still spinning from the kiss she had just shared with John. It was unexpected but it felt like the most natural thing in the world to her. It was unlike any of the other kisses they had ever shared, it was…different. It felt like there was something more there this time; she couldn't explain it.

"What are you doing?" She asked herself aloud. She scolded herself silently; she shouldn't be thinking about this kiss like that. She should be regretting it and wishing it never happened, but she wasn't, and she knew that was wrong, but regret was never a word in her vocabulary when John McBain was involved.

She snapped herself out of her inner debate and realized that Jess must think she disappeared. She casually peered through the window of the diner and to her surprise she didn't see Jessica. Natalie reached for her purse to give her sister a call and realized it wasn't on her shoulder. She thought for a second and realized she must have left it on the bench. She turned back to where she had just come from and silently hoped John was no longer there. She didn't want to talk about what had happened between them mere minutes ago.

As she crossed though the square she saw Cristian standing in the bushes deep in concentration. As she stepped closer she gasped at what she saw. He was holding a gun; aiming it in front of him. She slowly turned her head to see what he had it pointed at. She froze in horror as her gaze landed on John. His back was turned to Cris and he seemed deep in thought.

"Oh god." Natalie whispered to herself. She had to do something, she had to stop him.

Cristian's finger grasped around the trigger as he began to pull it

"Cristian stop!" Natalie exclaimed as she ran in front of him creating a new target for the bullet. It flew from the gun and without warning hit Natalie in the chest.

"Natalie!" Exclaimed Cristian as he dropped the gun to the ground and stood in place staring onward at her.

Natalie dropped her hand to her chest and pulled it away to reveal warm red liquid covering her hand. Before she knew it she had dropped to the ground.

Cristian stood over her in shock. He couldn't believe what he had just done. It wasn't supposed to be her; it was because he loved her. He never meant for this to happen.

In an instant John; who had heard the gun shot from across the park raced over in the direction it had come from.

"Cris what…" He trailed off as soon as he looked down and saw Natalie lying in the snow; the blood now staining her coat.

He kneeled down besides her in the snow and began to check her injury.

"Cris what the hell happened?" he shouted angrily

"I... I didn't mean to…" Was all he could manage to say.

John looked to the right of Cristian and saw the hand gun lying in the snow. He used every ounce of self control in his body to stop himself from flying over there and attacking him, but Natalie was his first concern right now, he would deal with Cristian later.

He looked down at her, she was pale and clearly unconscious. His hand flew to her neck to check for a pulse. It was there but weak. He pulled out his cell phone, quickly dialing for help.

"Yeah this is Lieutenant McBain down in Angel Square, I need an ambulance ASAP; a woman's been shot."

He hung up and redirected his attention towards Natalie. "Hey it's gonna be okay. Just hold on a little longer, help is on the way." He lightly brushed her cheek with his hand. He had never seen her look so pale, but she was strong; she was a fighter. She'll get through this he though.

"I…I didn't mean to do it." Cristian said once more. At this point John had blocked him out. Natalie was the important issue right now.

Jessica rushed to the middle Angel Square and a look of horror appeared on her face when she saw her sister lying on her back covered in blood.

"Oh god!" she screamed out in shock as she rushed over to her side.

"What happened?" she asked John, her voice trembling in fear as she leaned down next to her. Before he had a chance to answer she looked up and saw Cristian standing there in a catatonic state. She saw the gun beside him on the ground and became enraged.

"Cristian did you to this to her?" Her voice was elevated and her eyes were sharp "Did you shoot Natalie?" Anger filled her accusation

"I…I didn't mean to shoot Natalie…I didn't mean to shoot her."

Jessica had no time for him now. She looked down at her sister to see her once grey coat now turning a distinctive shade of crimson. Jessica took off her scarf and tried to hold it to Natalie's chest to stop the bleeding. The pale blue scarf soon became soaked with the rich red liquid as well.

"Did you call an ambulance?" she asked looking up at John, but still holding the scarf in place.

"They should be here by now." He responded standing to his feet and running his hand through his hair.

Within seconds the ambulance sirens were heard as paramedics rushed out of the ambulance and placed Natalie on the stretcher.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N So I'm starting on Chapter 8 now. I'm a little behind and 9 might take a little longer. Okay here is 8. Sorry to leave you all hanging on chapter 7…

Disclaimer: There still not mine…

" I need you to get a hold of Dr Paige Miller" Michael McBain yelled to an attending nurse in the hall way as he and the residents quickly moved Natalie's hospital bed into a near by room. She had just come out of the OR. The surgery was high risk. Natalie was unconscious and they were unable to stabilize her blood pressure and heart rate but the surgery was needed or she would have surely bled to death. She still was unresponsive and that was worrying Michael. He knew that the longer a patient was asleep, the harder it was for them to wake up. He was pulled back to reality by one of the nurses.

"Her heart rate is dropping." One of the workers said holding up the bag with the IV connected to her arm.

They quickly moved her into the closest room and Michael began to work to stabilize her. Jessica and John were not far behind him. They had remained through out the operation sitting on the side lines waiting. They peered nervously into the window as Michael ordered the nurses around and hurriedly worked on her. The pressure was obviously too much for Jessica to take. Her eyes were red; from the crying she had done in the ambulance ride over with Natalie and then again from the last hour Natalie had been in surgery. She still held the blood soaked scarf in her right hand, twisting it around her left inadvertently. As she did so the blood began to stain her porcelain white skin.

"Why-" Her voice was shaky. "Why would he do that to her?" She asked looking up at John. Her tears began to spill once more out of her pale blue eyes.

That's what John had been trying to figure out on the entire car ride to the hospital. Why did he do it? It wasn't clear to him at first but then it hit him…It wasn't Natalie it was intended for…it was him. Right as the ambulance has arrived so did the police, Bo included. When they went to take Cristian away he put up no fight, no struggle but remained in almost a trance continuing to insist that he never meant to hurt Natalie, but not denying it none the less.

Antonio came around the corner of the ER and saw John and Jessica standing there. He traced Jessica's body with his eyes and noticed the bloody scarf in her hand.

"Antonio!" She ran to him and collapsed in his arms. He tightly held her as she sobbed uncontrollably into his chest. A moment later she looked up from his chest and looked him in the eyes.

"Jess what happened?"

She hesitated to speak for a moment "He shot her." She pulled away from him wrapping her arms around her chest. The scarf still clenched in her hand.

"Who?" He was growing confused.

Jessica looked back at John almost as if she was pleading with him to say it. She couldn't find it in her to say the words herself, not out loud.

"Cris." John finished…"He…he shot Natalie." He trailed off.

"What? That doesn't make any sense."

"Well sense or not Antonio he did." Jessica's sadness was now beginning to turn to fury. "Natalie is lying in that hospital bed right now fighting for her life because of him!"

"It…It just doesn't make any sense, he loves Natalie why would he do something like that?"

"Love? Love?" She asked enraged "You call what he did to my sister love? If shooting the person you 'love' is how he shows his devotion for her than I certainly don't want to make his enemy list!"

"Jess-" he reached out for her

"Don't" She stuck up her hands in defense and stormed off into the hospital. Antonio hurried after her.

John stayed where he was, looking back into the window once more. Things had calmed down a bit in Natalie's room. He could see Michael standing over the bed but couldn't see clearly what he was doing. He saw several nurses pass by and enter Natalie's room. Through the door as it closed he could see her lying there. She looked so pale, so weak, Almost seemed like a different person from the vibrant fiery woman John had been with earlier. The woman who he kissed with such intense burning passion, passion so hot he was sure it had left a scorch mark on the ground beneath them. It was only mere hours ago he had ran his hands through her auburn strands of fire, that he had caressed her creamy ivory skin with his hands, that he had tasted her lips and… "John?" a familiar voice called from behind. He slowly turned to see Mrs. Davidson staring his way. His heart fell. How was he supposed to tell her what happened? That it wasn't Natalie, but him who should be lying in that bed. That this was all _his_ fault. How was he supposed to explain that to anyone for that matter?

"Jessie…Jessie called me. She sounded distressed and told me to meet her here." She could tell by the somber look on his face that something was wrong…something was terribly wrong.

"She should be back in a minute. She and Antonio, they should be right back." He hoped like hell that they would come back soon. He didn't want to have to explain any of this to her. It wasn't his place.

"There's something wrong isn't there?" Her voice was firm yet it was obvious that her worry was growing.

"Mrs. Davidson-"

"Mom!" Jessica yelled from behind them; Antonio standing off to the side a bit. Vicki turned to see Jessica; her shirt seemed to be slightly stained along with her hands. She looked up to meet her eyes and noticed the distinct puffiness of her eyes which could only be caused by crying a great deal.

"Jessie. Sweet heart what happened?"

"Mom you should really sit down." She began moving Vicki to the near by seating area and Vicki stopped her.

"Sweet heart I'm fine. I'm well enough to hear what ever it is that's going on. I'm okay."

Jessica gave her a some what worried look

"Please Jessie I need to know!" She was almost shouting at this point, something she didn't do quite often.

"It's…It's Natalie." She looked away for a second and then back at her mother. "She's been shot."

Before Jessica had a chance to say another word Michael McBain came out of the room they had all gathered in front of. He noticed Vicki's horrified expression and made note that she must have been informed of what was going on.

"How is she?" John asked; waiting anxiously to hear word on her condition.

"Natalie received a deep bullet wound incision to the chest. Luckily it missed her heart and major arteries."

They let out a sigh of relief

"Unfortunately there were some complications…" He staled for a moment and then continued. "The surgery was a success, but Natalie was unconscious for a long time." He could see they were all holding there breath and continued…god this was hard " We had no choice but to perform the surgery weather she was conscious or not, if we didn't she would have bleed to death. But the fact she still isn't awake could be damaging in the long run."

"What are you saying?" Jessica asked

Michael took one more deep breath and continued. "Natalie…she's slipped into a coma."

At the new revelation they almost cracked. Tears began to spill out of Jessica's eyes again as she buried her head into Vicki's chest. Vicki lightly stroked the hair out of her face trying to control her sobs. Michael continued once more.

"There is a good chance she could wake up, but the longer she stays under…"

"…The worse her chance of coming out of it is." Vicki continued, recalling this all too well, having gone through it with Ben not long ago.

"Yeah…" He looked down for a second "I'm also worried about her brain functions. In order for her to recover fully and not loose any brain activity she needs to come out of this sooner rather then later."

"I understand." Vicki said trying to put on a brave face. "Excuse us for a moment please." She took Jessica away from the waiting area towards the rest rooms.

Michael looked at John, who had remained quiet through out most of the conversation. His expression was one he hadn't seen on his brother since…since Caitlyn's death. "You okay?" He asked

John looked at him blankly. "This is all my fault."

"This is no one's fault Johnny, don't go blaming yourself again. This couldn't have been stopped." His brother still stared blankly at him "It's gonna be okay Johnny."

"It has to be." He looked him in the eyes. "It has to be…"

Natalie opened her eyes to be surrounded by an almost blinding white light. It hurt her eyes to look directly into it. She slowly began to sit up and took in her surroundings. It was unfamiliar. Where was she? She began to stand up off the couch she was lying on. Her first instinct was telling her to run, find a way out, but for some reason she didn't feel any danger. Yes she had no clue where she was but she felt peaceful. Was this a dream? Maybe she had eaten some of Roxy's tuna casserole again and this was the result of food poisoning. She looked around…nothing but light. No ending, no beginning…it just…was.

"Hello?" she called out "Is anyone here?"

"Where the hell am I?" She asked herself.

"Hello Natalie…I've been waiting for you." She heard the voice behind her say…she was afraid to turn around at first but she finally did. She looked at the person who had addressed her earlier and shock and fear were her primary reactions.

"How…how is this possible?" She asked staring at him "Oh God; am I dead?"

Okay there is 8…it was mostly family stuff I know, not much Jolie sorry for that…I'll try to get 9 started this weekend. So you're all left wondering…who is it Natalie sees…I'll try to start on 9 soon.


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